i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
