You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
