i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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