The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
