pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
