It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
