can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
