So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
