if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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