I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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