She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
