Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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