I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
