We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
