Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
