Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A bitchslap is in order.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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