When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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