somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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