As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
