Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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