i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
