and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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