so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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