I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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