oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
