every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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