I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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