is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
