I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.