I didn't shave. On purpose
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its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear