he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
