420 ftw
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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