WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
