So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
