i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
