This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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