What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
