I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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