Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
