evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
