just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this boner is exhausting
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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