I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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