he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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