I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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