There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think your dad took our porno
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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