he puts the penis in happiness.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
