ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
