She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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