6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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