I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
