Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
