So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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