every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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