After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself