how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence