it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?