have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
