there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
