Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
