ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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