a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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