So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i've created a new STD.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize