Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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