I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
