You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize