jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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