Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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